Some days it’s hard to breathe. Crushing anxiety consumes my soul. My heart beat quickens. My breathing becomes uneasy. My stomach ties itself in the worst kind of knot. I feel shaky. I feel weak. I feel empty. I feel useless.
My heart aches. My heart hasn’t forgot the pain of the past.
Time heals all, or so they say… I just know a century of time wouldn’t piece my heart back smooth. It’s jagged and dangerous. It’s afraid. It’s angry. It’s broke. Shattered.
How do you forgive and forget something that nearly destroyed you?
Some days I’m so strong. I feel prideful for the pain I’ve been working so hard to overcome. Some days I am able to smile. It’s not a fake smile. It’s a genuine smile. I feel joy. Some days I feel complete peace… Today, is not one of those days. Today my mind is clouded and the past has stolen my present. The past has been knocking at the door for so long, it caved in.
The past is my current moment and my heart breaks all over again.